✌🏽Learning about detachment from the world’s longest poem

I recently read the Bhagavad Gita, a 700-verse Hindu text in the Mahabharata, the world’s longest poem. Dated to the first millennium BCE, this holy scripture tells the story of Arjuna, an Indian warrior, who undergoes a psychological crisis as he prepares for war against his rival family. The Gita consists of a dialogue between Arjuna and his chariot driver, who is an incarnation of the Hindu God Lord Krishna as they both await the imminent battle.

While Arjuna agonizes over the thought of fighting his own family, Krishna teaches him one of the biggest lessons in the epic: the importance of detachment. He says to Arjuna:

He goes on to say:

In situations like Arjuna’s, involving the death of family, the Lord’s advice offers little comfort, but it is arguably more digestible in everyday situations when the stakes aren’t as high.

Enjoy the process, for the outcome may vary

Krishna’s advice centers on the importance of detachment to our responsibilities. Indeed, for many of us, our self-worth and identity are attached to the outcome. For example, you may pour your heart and soul into a passion project, only for it to be poorly received or flat-out rejected by your peers. The crippling rejection can prevent you from continuing with your work. In contrast, focusing on the process is something that belongs to you alone — no one can take it away from you.

A letter written by Kurt Vonnegut to a class of students depicts the beauty of the process:

When we are attached to a certain end result, our own biases may creep in and negatively affect the process as well as the outcome. Sometimes, when the end result wildly differs from what we envisioned at the start, we cling to earlier conceptions that may keep us from accepting happier outcomes. These self-limiting beliefs may also impede us from even  starting a potentially rewarding endeavor. This can be the case when you find yourself thinking, “Am I too old for this? Do I have the talent for it?”

Letting go of the outcomes we have in mind can help us take the first steps and enjoy the process.

Consider Serena Williams. Her final career match took place this year, 20 years after her debut. While the average tennis career lasts about 16 years with players retiring in their late 20s, Williams played for 20 years and retired at 40. She fought all the way through, and she did it with glamour and style. 

Perhaps if we weren't too attached to how things should be, we would be more willing to try things for the sake of the process.

Knowing that you tried your hardest should be the most rewarding outcome. And that's something you have control over. Everything else is not within your control, so why stress about it?

Practicing detachment may have mental and physical health benefits, too. For example, those who psychologically detach are more likely to report feeling satisfied with life, and less likely to experience exhaustion, psychological strain, depressive symptoms, health complaints, and sleep problems (Sonnentag and Fritz, 2007; Siltaloppi et al., 2009; Sonnentag et al., 2010). They may also experience greater work performance (Binnewies et al., 2010). 

 What I learned from reading the Gita is that appreciating the process might take us somewhere different than we imagined at the start of our journey. If we’re too focused on  the desired outcome of all our hard work, we lose sight of all the other possibilities that could work better for us.

Questions for you:

⭐️ Is there something in your life that could benefit from detachment?

⭐️ Have you prevented yourself from trying something because you were so attached to the potential outcome?